it's graduation, and i'm sorry.

over the weekend, i graduated college. 

which of course you already know, because i've consumed your news feed with photos from sunday. in my defense, i'm an only child dating a photographer so you had to see this coming.

i don't want my graduation post to be a recounting of last weekend's events. the only remotely interesting event of the weekend was when the skies opened up as we waited to enter the ceremony, leaving a couple hundred graduates walking in with squishing shoes, dripping gowns, and drooping caps. as an added bonus, the air conditioning was on inside! so i was happy to become a graduate but even more thrilled to not become a human icicle. 

no, there has to be a better way to talk about graduation without it being a play-by-play or ridiculously sentimental. of course, i realized, it really isn't all about me. this accomplishment has everything to do with the people who got me through the past 4 years, and to whom i owe endless thanks. 

but i didn't want this to sound like an oscar's acceptance speech and since you probably don't either, i took a note from zoe nathan and decided to give you all an apology. because college is just as much about things going wrong as they are going right, right? let's get started:


i'm sorry that i didn't actually like you very much when you were my coach, which i now think was the point. everything i know about being a great coxswain and loving our sport i learned from you and can't imagine not having you as a such a good friend today. i'm also sorry for lying to you about our stroke rate at least 6 times per practice (sorry!!).


i'm sorry that for all of the short jokes, but you are my only friend who is shorter than me. luckily height doesn't stop you from being the smartest, chicest person i've ever known and also the most terrifying coxswain i've ever raced. please do let me come visit you when you move back to france and presumably live in the castle of versailles, or something. love you, little one. 


i'm sorry that i was so angry after we lost at big ten's, and every other race for that matter. i'm still amazed by all of you, please know that if i had to actually row, i would die. 


i'm sorry that in the absence of having a real sibling, i turned to you every time something went horribly wrong. you are my "only child" idol, a master of being flawlessly independent while having an incredibly empathetic heart; which is one reason you'll make an amazing nurse and the reason you will always will be my sister-friend. i'm not sorry, however, for talking about our love of mac and cheese every single time we speak. i'm not. 


i'm sorry that the last four years have been defined by our missed connections, to a near award-worthy level. between you and i there always seems to be a broken down bus, no-show cab, missed train, or terrible, not even remotely accurate roman map. i will love you no matter how long we have to facebook message because our phones refuse to send each other imessages. which is incredibly inconvenient, though i know we will one day sell our conversation thread for a million dollar book deal. so it's ok. 


i'm sorry we've been busy talking about me for the past 4 years. really. i promise it's your turn now. 


i'm sorry that i didn't meet you the very first day of college, or of life, for that matter. thank you for being the person who always does understand my situation completely, be it good or bad, and know when it's time to make me some noodles and pesto. it's amazing to me how much you just, for lack of better words, "get it". (which you will totally get). 


i'm sorry i have worn your clothes far more than my own in college and that i am terrible at remembering to buy toilet paper. needless to say if a day comes where we don't live together, i am in huge trouble. you are so good at getting things done and following a schedule that i sometimes think you are a beautiful robot. which would be really cool.


i'm sorry that i talked to you so much over the walkies at j.crew that it resulted in our being scheduled separate shifts indefinitely. those were the glory days, aside from now when we don't actually have to work at j.crew. i love you.


i'm sorry that i gave you a "b" on our peer evaluation for the first project we worked on when we met, but i really did do all of the work. you more than made up for it, and so i'm sorry that i somehow suckered you into doing a lot of my homework the last two years. i'm also sorry for all of the absolutely terrible food i've cooked which you ate without protest. i hit the lottery three times over when i fell in love with you, and i can't see it getting any better from here (besides my cooking, hang in there).

mom and dad

calling your parents crying in college is pretty standard and generally acceptable, but i'm really sorry for all of the times it just wasn't. failing a midterm? homesickness? breakups? yes, good to have you on speed dial. the time i lost my macbook charger at the library? probably did not merit 20 minutes of waterworks. thanks for all of the encouraging texts, care packages, and unwavering love that go far beyond the past 4 years. i feel blessed to have you as my parents, no matter how many strange things you do on facebook. 


i'm so sorry that you couldn't be there to see me graduate from your beloved alma mater. both you and mormor are what inspired me to go to this amazing school, and to you two i owe my entire college experience. i know you would have grinned your million-dollar smile and pumped your fist in the air had you been there on sunday. and yet in some way, i think you were. love you forever. 

grandparents, aunt, uncles, other incredibly nice people

thank you for never forgetting my birthday, or my general existence, once i went to college. i am so sorry for all of the thank you cards that never got mailed (ok, written) because of how "busy" i thought i was. i love you all, and hope someday remember someone's birthday far enough ahead to send a card.   

university of minnesota

i'm sorry for all of the complaints i had about the football team, the weather, the printing costs, the construction, the parking, and other generally unimportant factors in my college experience. i knew then and know now that i wouldn't trade my 4 years here for all of the bowl game wins and free parking in the world. thank you for giving me best friends, inspiring community, and knowledge far beyond the classroom - which is the best kind. ski u mah.